Blank Slate
by CallMeHush
Summary: L and Rasa have been friends for years, but one day things take a drastic change and Rasa suddenly finds herself growing closer to the dark and mysterious Beyond Birthday. Is it possible for her to choose between the two? LXOC and BBXOC.
1. An Introduction

**Howdy, this story probably won't end up as good as I imagined it but I thought I might as well give it a whirl anyway :D**

**So please review and let me know what you think of it and I will get it updated as soon as possible, I promise.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Death Note (and it is probably a good thing that I don't because I would do terribly naughty things to them if I did). However, the OC is entirely my creation. Enjoy! **

…

"What's your name?" A smiling blonde boy approached the new girl who stood awkwardly in the doorway. A small group of curious children gathered behind him, eyes roaming the newly orphaned girl with the bright white hair.

"Erm... Well they told me to change it." She replied nervously, clutching the handles of her suitcase tightly with small pale fingers.

"Yeah, everyone has different names here, for security. What name did they give you?" The boy gave another grin in a way that he assumed was friendly, but the girl didn't smile back, instead staring at the floor where her feet shuffled nervously.

"They called me Rasa." She glanced up at the group of children from behind long curly strands of white hair, pale blue eyes not quite meeting their own. "They took it from 'Tabula Rasa'." She told them and a slight air of confusion settled on the children's faces.

"Taboo-what?" A small brown haired girl inquired but before Rasa could reply, a voice cut through the air, low and slightly disinterested.

"'Tabula Rasa' means 'blank slate', referring to the idea that we come into this world as blank slates, and then develop the type of person we are through our experiences."

The group of children split down the middle as they turned to the source of the voice. Rasa looked up at the strange boy sat in the corner of the room. No, not sat, he was crouched in the corner of the room, his bare feet balancing him as he glanced up from the book he was reading. Dark, black holes of eyes stared up at her, almost hidden under the wild mop of spiky black hair that sprung from his head.

"That's right," She said quietly, not letting her eyes drift from him, "Blank slate."

He brought a thumb to his pale lips before slowly biting down on it in thought. Rasa noticed the black bags forming underneath his eyes due to lack of sleep, giving him a slightly sickly look against the extreme paleness of his skin.

"They most likely chose the name based off your hair colour, it's a very blank colour." He said and then his attention was directed back to his book. As if by magic, at that moment the gap in the group of children was closed up again, eager faces closer to the new girl than they had been before. She blushed under their gaze, her grip tightening so that her knuckles turned as white as her hair.

"Don't worry about him; he's not quite all there if you get what I mean..." The blonde boy was saying, twirling a finger by his head as a symbol for crazy. A few giggles broke out in the group at this but Rasa kept her face deadpan. "He'll leave you alone if you do the same to him." The boy said smugly before staring at her with wide green eyes. "And I think your hair is a lovely colour by the way."

She attempted a smile of thanks, fingers self consciously reaching for a long strand of her curling cloud hair. Suddenly, an old, slightly flustered looking man appeared in the doorway.

"Rasa, would you like to come this way, I'll show you to your room now." He said and Rasa gave a quick shy nod. Turning to leave, she couldn't help but look back past the other children to that one lonely boy, sat reading quietly in the corner. She smiled slightly to herself, hoping he would talk to her again soon, before following the old man out of the door.

…

**Reviews make Hush a happy girl. So please let me know your initial thoughts! :P**


	2. A second meeting

The dining hall was loud and busy and Rasa felt herself almost get swallowed whole by the atmosphere. Children chattered and laughed and waited eagerly for their meals whilst sat at a series of long wooden tables. She let her icy blue eyes gaze over them all until she found who she was searching for. He was crouching once again, perched on the plastic seat as he helped himself to a large slice of cake before him. There was a notable emptiness around him but he didn't seem to notice or care that the other children were keeping their distance. All of a sudden, his eyes shot up and met hers, making her jump slightly.

He watched her from afar, the new girl with the unusual white hair staring at him with large eyes almost like a deer caught in the headlights. A shout called out across the hall and her head snapped in its direction. Simon, the blonde haired boy who she had met earlier was calling her over, but she remained where she was, pink lips falling into a slightly confused expression. When she eventually started to move, it wasn't towards him. It was to the far end of the hall, where the raven haired boy still stalked her with his blank gaze. She stopped by his table and the children closest to them fell silent as they turned to observe.

"Is this seat taken?" Rasa asked, her voice surprisingly confident despite the rapid beating of her heart. The boy thought it was a stupid question to ask considering the answer was clear and his brow furrowed slightly at her. To his surprise, she gave him a defiant frown back, pale blue, almost grey, eyes narrowing as if to dare him to speak his mind.

"No, it is not taken." He finally stated and Rasa's face relaxed into a smile before seating herself directly opposite him. She gave him a quick glance up and down, taking in the creased white shirt and baggy jeans curled up to his chest. He paid her no more attention, instead, turning back to his cake, which he ate with a spoon, held lightly between his finger and thumb.

"What's your name?" She eventually asked but he still didn't raise his gaze upwards.

"L."

"Just L?" She asked, cocking her head to one side slightly.

"Just L." He replied, his voice monotone and low as though he was already bored with the conversation. Rasa was about to retort that it was a silly kind of name to have but bit her tongue back, remembering her own new name which she had been given. Instead she leant forward across the table, forcing L to meet her eye from under messy black hair.

"You're strange. You look strange and you act strange." She said quietly and her eyes shone with what seemed to be excitement. "I like you." She added when he gave her no reply and then she slumped back into her chair causing L to stare at her with a sense of astonishment and confusion.

"You are not one to talk. You also look strange." He mumbled after sticking the spoon into his mouth. Rasa frowned at him in question and he pulled out the spoon to point it at her hair. "It looks like a sheep landed on your head." He said it so seriously that Rasa gave a small laugh, her hands flying to her head in order to pat down the long wild curls.

"That's not a very nice thing to say to your friend." She said, putting on a mock sternness and crossing her arms. L almost dropped the spoon from his grasp as his eyes reached a new wideness.

"Friend?" He replied, as though the meaning of the word was beyond his grasp. He had never had a friend before.

"Yes… don't you want to be my friend?" Rasa's stern act was dropped as her body slumped slightly before him. Her face looked lost and lonely as she darted her eyes around the room, looking everywhere but at L. His thumb was raised to his mouth once more and he chewed on it for a few more seconds, brain whirring at the idea of a friend. Finally, he lowered his thumb and with a slightly longing look at his cake, he pushed it across the table to Rasa.

Rasa stared down at the cake blankly before bringing her questioning eyes upward to meet L's.

"I thought friends liked to share." He replied, his face deadpan as he saw her own face light up in realisation. She gave him a wide smile before taking a small bite of the cake and pushing it back towards him. His lips turned upwards with the return of his beloved cake and he started to speak once more, "I've never had a friend…"

L trailed off when he saw Rasa's attention was elsewhere and he followed her gaze to the boy seating himself nearby. Rasa turned back to L, then looked back over at the boy, her lips parting as if to say something before she stopped herself.

"His name is Beyond Birthday." L answered the question he knew she was thinking, "We aren't related." Rasa glanced once more at the boy sat further down, almost an exact replica of the boy sat opposite her. Beyond turned her way as though he felt her eyes on him and frowned darkly before lifting his eyes up just above her head. Rasa looked behind her and saw nothing yet when she turned back, Beyond had not moved his gaze from the spot directly above her, a smile creeping onto his lips. Rasa noticed his eyes were different from L's, a dark brown which at first glance she thought was red before common sense told her that couldn't be possible.

"Wow, he's even stranger than you are." She exclaimed to L who only frowned deeply at her.

"I would keep your distance from Beyond if I was you. He has been known to have a bit of a dark side." L lowered his attention back to the cake and Rasa nodded obediently. Her eyes fell back on the boy hunched over in front of her and she smiled.

"What are you smiling at?" He asked and she started slightly, unaware that he had caught her smiling.

"I was just thinking…" She began and he brought his wide eyes up to her face, "I like your version of the deathly look better than his." Rasa gave a cheeky laugh and L watched her eyes grow bright from emotion. Before he knew it, he was smiling back at her, pale lips curling upwards at his new friend.

"Thanks, I guess." He replied and the bell rang announcing the end of lunch. Rasa realised that she hadn't eaten anything but she didn't seem to mind, instead she gave her new friend one last grin before rushing out of the dining hall.

L watched her go, rolling the unfamiliar word "friend" around his tongue before making his own way to class.


	3. Jam Jar

**2 years later, aged 12**

It was the evening on the Wammy's Christmas dance and the hall had been decorated from roof to floor in tinsel, sparkling in the light of hundreds of coloured fairy lights. L crouched in his seat and observed the hall with a slightly bored expression. He was 12 years old and already felt far too old for this kind of nonsense celebration when instead he could be working on a case. But Rasa had demanded that he join her and although she was the same age, she seemed oblivious to the childishness of the party.

He trained his eyes on her as she danced, a red santa hat pulled down over white curls. He couldn't help but admire the way she moved, her hips swaying as she clapped her hands to the beat. He found himself staring the way her smooth white skin was revealed as she lifted her arms, pulling her top away from her skirt. He looked away quickly, shuffling awkwardly and glad of the dark lighting so that no one would notice his blush. He had told himself not to think of her that way so many times before, but somehow he always found himself breaking his own rules.

Rasa rushed over to L as the song finished and fell into the seat next to him, a big grin settling on her face.

"Why won't you dance with me?" She asked and L tried to hide his sarcastic grin behind his thumb, biting down on it gently.

"Do I seem like the type of person who enjoys dancing?" He asked her, finally turning to acknowledge her with shining eyes. Rasa gave a small smile,

"No, I suppose not. But dancing on your own can get boring after a while." She said it quietly, looking down at the floor as her feet swung and scuffed the floor.

"Why don't you go ask Beyond to dance?" L said and they both turned to observe the sulking boy sat in the corner, clearly hating every second of the celebration. He caught their eye and frowned, causing the two of them to look away in a fit of giggles.

"He's older than both of us yet he's the one acting a like a 4 year old," Rasa rolled her eyes, "Why did he even come tonight?"

"Apparently Watari forced him to in order to make him socialise more…ever since…" L trailed off and the smile left Rasa's face, knowing exactly what he was implying. There definitely was a change in Beyond after his best friend, A, died a year ago. Rasa suddenly felt terribly guilty for laughing at him and glanced once more at the hunched boy in the corner dressed entirely in black.

L had once more fallen silent as his eyes darted around the room and Rasa knew he was analysing his environment. She had learnt L was like that. He analysed things rather than actually getting involved in them.

"I'll be right back." She said quickly and jumped out of her chair to leave L staring after her. First she made her way to the large food table where kids swarmed to grab at candy and cookies and then, to L's surprise, she left the hall, the door closing shut behind her. It wasn't long till she returned, holding something by her side and moving quickly through the crowds dancing. Suddenly she emerged by the side and L gave a frown. She was stood directly in front of Beyond Birthday.

Beyond looked up from the floor to the girl stood in front of him, a sad smile playing on her lips. He blinked once at her and then let his gaze drop again as though completely uninterested.

"Hi." She said, but he didn't bother looking up again. For a moment, Rasa simply stood before him, unsure of what to do before she sat herself down in the seat next to him, pulling her legs up to her chest not unlike L.

"What do you want?" Beyond said, turning his head slightly but not revealing his face from behind scruffy black hair. Rasa flinched slightly at the harsh tone of his words before leaning closer to him in her seat.

"Well, I brought you some jam." She presented the jam jar she had retrieved from the kitchen with a flourish and then broke out into a grin when she saw him straighten up and snap his head in her direction. He grasped the jam from her and pried it open, instantly scooping handfuls of the strawberry jam into his mouth.

"It's just… well I always see you eating loads of it… so thought you might want some tonight considering you were being forced to come along." Rasa stared, astonished at the boy before her, red smudges around his lips and covering his fingers. He scooped up another handful then turned to look at her. Except this time he really looked at her. Rasa could almost feel his dark eyes roaming across her face and body, taking in every inch of her. She blushed from the attention but Beyond seemed oblivious, instead licking the remaining jam from his fingers and setting the jar on the floor.

"I suppose I should thank you." He said and Rasa noticed his voice was low, even lower than L's despite him being only a few months older. His eyes were still staring at her in a way that made her feel uncomfortable, yet she found herself unable to break his dark gaze with her own light eyes.

"Erm… don't worry about it. I'm Rasa by the way." She said but found that the smile she had planned to make didn't quite reach her lips. Beyond finally broke his gaze, snapping his eyes to that spot above her head which had always made her so paranoid. She knew not to look behind her, he did the same with everyone, although no one knew why.

"Rasa…" He said in way that revealed some sort of emotion, although Rasa couldn't tell whether it was amusement or confusion. She stared blankly back at him, expecting him to introduce himself despite her already knowing his name. However, he did no such thing, and once he had finished staring above her head, his attention was turned once more to the jam jar, where he wiped one long finger around the sides to gather the remains. Rasa gave a small frown and then stood from the chair, causing Beyond to snap his head up in her direction.

"Goodbye, Rasa. Would you like some jam before you depart?" He asked seriously before lifting the jam coated finger in her direction. Rasa gave an astonished and slightly disgusted look at the sticky finger before her. Did he expect her to lick it off of him? She wondered and tried not to think of what that would look like.

"Erm… no thanks. The jam is for you, so you should eat it." She said and to her surprise, she saw Beyond give her a smile before shoving the finger into his own mouth. She smiled back and then started to head her way back to L. She could see his frown even from across the dance floor and smiled to herself slightly, knowing that he would have disapproved.

Sure enough, when she had resumed her seat beside him he turned to her in his own seat, a frown on his serious face. She met his eyes, which looked almost black in the light, and gave a cheeky grin.

"Don't frown. You look more attractive when you smile." Rasa said, her eyes shining from emotion. L's frown softened slightly in surprise at her statement and she gave a small laugh. She raised a hand and affectionately patted down part of his unruly hair whilst her other hand retrieved a lollipop she had in her skirt pocket. She held the lollipop up to him and he smiled.

"There we go!" Rasa announced as he plucked the lollipop from her grip, shoving it into his mouth. She giggled once more and then as his eyes met her own she looked away, trying to hide her blush behind a mess of white hair.

"Thank you, friend." L stated, trying not to think of the way her lips parted slightly when she smiled. He shook his head as though to erase the thought and when he looked back at her she had a cheeky glint in her eye.

"Will you dance with me now?" She babbled out and L pretended to consider it, moving the lollipop around in his mouth.

"No." He said bluntly and Rasa slumped backwards in defeat, her arms crossing her chest defiantly.

"No more lollipops for you then Mr Killjoy." She mumbled and L couldn't help but smile.

…

**So, this chapter was basically showing you a little more about the different relationships forming between the three of them as they grow older, expect another time jump in the next chapter as I get down to the juicy stuff ;)**

**Anyway, please review and I will love you forever. Seriously.**

**P.S. Thanks to ****MiriLawliet367 for your nice review! I promise to get the whole story uploaded quickly because I know how much of a pain it can be when you get into a story and then the author doesn't update for like a month. Expect daily updates! :D**


	4. A Kiss

**Ok, so everything changes here. I tried to write the actual event down several times but it just wasn't working so instead began the chapter immediately after the event has happened, leaving you, the reader, a chance to fill in the details of what had just happened. Anyway, enough of me babbling, enjoy!**

…

**4 years later, aged 16**

Rasa couldn't contain herself. She tried to control her breathing, the redness of her face and the unbearable pain she felt but she couldn't. She felt so stupid, so idiotic to have even considered anything happening between L and her. She could see it now, but before she had been so hopelessly in love that she couldn't see past it.

She backed up against the wall, feeling as though her legs might give out beneath her at any moment. A quick angry sob escaped her mouth and she brought a fist to her head as if to knock out all her emotion. She wanted to be blank... she wanted to be like L.

Her mind replayed what had just happened, the tension in the room, her attempt to kiss L, the firm hand pushing her away.

"My job makes it too dangerous for me to be involved with someone that way." He had said, eyes all full of apology. But all Rasa had seen was pity. And it almost broke her into pieces; so much so that she had ran from his room.

She had loved him for so long, possibly ever since she saw him. But now it was clear, he didn't love her back, he _couldn't_ love her back. Anger filled rasa like molten metal. She boiled in rage at L for being so emotionally numb, for not caring about her after all this time.

She stormed off down the corridor once more, her insides churning with hurt, anger and shock.

…

L sat on his bed staring at the open door Rasa had just ran through. He had never felt so much turmoil in his head before. Where it was usually clear and simple, there was now a whirlpool of thoughts and emotion. The shock at her attempted kiss, the need to have her lips touching his own, the common sense telling him it couldn't be so. _He wanted her_. But he knew that he couldn't let her grow so close. If anything was to happen to her because of him, he would never forgive himself.

And so he had pushed her away, although his heart had cried out to hold her close. And the hurt he had seen in those pale blue eyes had almost sent him over the edge. But she had rushed from the room and broken the spell.

And now he was hurting too. He had loved her, and now he feared he had lost her forever.

…

Rasa was almost by her room when she turned a corner and collided with someone so hard she fell backwards. A hand grasped her arm before she could hit the floor and she was pulled back to her feet. Rasa stared up at Beyond Birthday, her face streaked with tears.

Beyond looked down at the teenage girl before him, a taller version of the girl who had handed him jam, her curls a little more tamed and sleek now she was older. Suddenly, he felt himself being pushed backwards so that his back hit the wall. Her lips found his own as his eyes turned wide in shock. _She was kissing him_.

Rasa didn't quite know why she had started kissing him. She supposed that she had seen him, such a replica of L yet so completely different, and her caged emotions had come loose. At first he had been shocked and froze against her affection but he had soon started to kiss her back, giving Rasa everything she had needed from L. He was passionate and rough, kissing her like she was the oxygen he needed to breathe and grabbing locks of her hair with one hand. He tasted sweet, just like the strawberry jam he had been eating and Rasa couldn't help but enjoy every second of it.

He pulled away, leaving Rasa in a whirlwind of different emotions. She looked up at him and with a slight air of excitement realised that his eyes, in fact, _were_ red, just as she had first thought when she first saw him. She stood back from him, realisation of what she had just done hitting her like a ton of bricks. Her mouth fell open to say something yet no words came out. Beyond raised a hand to his lips and lightly touched them. Then all of a sudden he gave a laugh, looking up at Rasa through messy black hair, which gave him a slightly sinister look.

Rasa stared at him laughing, a million things to say rushing through her head. But before she could say a single one of them, Beyond gave her one last lookover before walking away down the corridor, a smile still playing on his lips.

Rasa rushed to her room and closed the door behind her. Inside she felt the torn up mess her heart was in over L, she hurt at the way he had pushed her away so easily. Yet at the same time, her head was full of something different, something new, something _exciting_. The way Beyond had tasted, the warmth of his body against her own, the glint in the dark red eyes. Although she was still in no condition to attempt a smile, brief happiness shot through the darkness of her thoughts before it was consumed again by pain.

She lay down on her bed and stared at the ceiling. A single tear rolled down her cheek to fall on the pillow below. Beyond Birthday. Beyond Birthday. Beyond Birthday. Her thoughts whirled.

Maybe it was time for her to become somebody new, to leave L behind and move on her life. Maybe it was time to become "tabula rasa" once more.

…

**I love it when Beyond gets a bit of action ;) haha.**

**Anyway, please review!**

**Thanks to PandasWithDeathNotes and deepoblivion99 for your reviews!**


	5. The morning after

…

The morning after L had turned down Rasa's affections and she had left him feeling lost, L was sat in the dining hall. A bowl of strawberries buried under a coating of sugar sat untouched before him. He didn't feel like eating. He didn't feel much at all since last night, just an emptiness, a gaping Rasa sized hole inside of him.

A flash of white caught his attention and he lethargically raised his head to Rasa who entered the room. She had bags under her eyes and a nervousness about her movements which suggested she had had very little sleep. He desperately grasped at her with his gaze but she was refusing to look at him, instead searching around the room. Her sight settled on someone at the other side of the room and she made her way over quickly. L stretched his neck out to see above the heads of children as she sat in one of the seats facing someone with his back to L.

L froze in his strange position as he took in the crazy black hair of Beyond Birthday.

Rasa spoke to him and he replied, causing Rasa to smile. L's eyes grew wide. _What was going on?_ Rasa had always been kind to Beyond, but never friendly. Yet her body language was so open to him... L closed his eyes tightly shut as if to block out the image. When his eyes snapped open once more they met Rasa's, the shock of it hitting him like a slap to the face.

She was looking at him in a way he had never seen before. Her pale blue eyes had turned icy and harsh as she raised one eyebrow in his direction, a slightly daring look on her face.

Was she challenging him? L slumped back into his chair and ran a hand through the tangled mop of hair so that it appeared even wilder. His eyes were wide with confusion and hurt and if someone had seen him for the very first time then, they would have definitely mistaken him for an insane person.

He was trying to figure out why she was doing this to him. To make him jealous? To hurt him? L pulled his legs even tighter to his chest in a way that even he found uncomfortable. As his grip tightened, l couldn't help but think that if those were her intentions, she was most certainly succeeding.

…

Rasa sat across from Beyond Birthday and pulled her eyes away from the dishevelled looking L she had just glimpsed at. He had looked terrible, and although part of her revelled in the fact that he seemed upset, another part of her still worried over how ill he had seemed.

"So... Have you and L had some kind of fallout or what?" Beyond didn't glance up from his jar of jam, fingers darting from it to his mouth.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." Rasa replied, and he gave a small smirk. His eyes snapped up from the jar to instantly hit her own, fiery red against icy blue.

"Is that why you kissed me?" He said so bluntly that Rasa recoiled slightly in shock, not missing the hint of amusement that lit up his eyes at the statement.

"Well...I...erm... I don't really know why I kissed you." She finally blurted out, inwardly cursing herself for the small blush forming on her cheeks.

"Right." He stated blankly, dark eyebrows rising under scruffy bangs of hair. "And tell me, _Rasa_," he added emphasis to her name as though it was some personal joke, "Do you want to kiss me again?"

Rasa was not expecting the question and she frowned slightly at his serious face. She considered lying to him but something told her that he would know.

"Yes." She said, so quietly that it was almost lost amid the noise of the dining hall. But Beyond Birthday had heard her and to her surprise, he started to laugh. There was something a bit off with the laugh, as though it didn't quite belong to him, but to something far more disturbing. When he stopped, he lowered his head so that his red eyes pierced her from behind his hair.

"Very interesting." He said, so quietly that it also was almost lost among the noise. Rasa still heard though and, as though his dark atmosphere was contagious, she gave a slightly sinister grin.

"Very interesting indeed." Beyond said, eyes roaming over Rasa as he licked the last of the jam from his fingers.

…

**Poor L :( And has Rasa turned to the dark side? :P**

**Anyways, please review and make me smile :D**

**Thanks to PandasWithDeathNotes for your review and I agree with you, I wish it was me kissing BB, that sexual murdering predator haha XD**


	6. Realisation

**2 weeks later**

Beyond spent a lot of time alone, and Rasa never attempted to find out what it was he spent so much time doing in his room. However, when he did emerge from his dark tomb into society, the two of them were inseparable.

They talked together, they ate together, they laughed together. Beyond taught Rasa how to angle a magnifying glass so that it would burn ants under the sun's rays, Rasa taught Beyond how to bake jam tarts.

But it was certainly not all fun and games. They stuck by each other yet they were not friends, they kissed each other but they were not boyfriend and girlfriend.

There was something far darker between them that could not be explained. Neither of them openly acknowledged this atmosphere that hung between them, yet there was no denying it was there.

"We should run away from here." Rasa had said one night as they both sat in the dark abandoned kitchen watching the clock chime away the hours of the early morning. She turned to face him, the moonlight turning his face a sickly white and his eyes a deep black.

"Where would we go?" He said mockingly and Rasa saw a flash of white teeth as he grinned.

"Anywhere but here."

A slight sadness had crept into her voice that she couldn't seem to eliminate. She rested her chin on curled up knees.

Beyond stared at her, ghostly white and curled up small beside him.

"You shouldn't run away from your problems. You should face them... Eliminate them." He said, a slight edge entering his own voice. Rasa thought about eliminating L and her heart ached in resistance at the thought. It was still there, all those feelings for him, all that need. Before she let it consume her she turned and grasped for Beyond, who followed her lead and found her lips in the darkness.

She let the feel of him take over all her senses as she grasped around his waist. His lips were moving quickly against her own and she couldn't help but imagine it was L who was kissing her, showing her all this emotion.

Her eyes snapped open and she was brought back to reality. She was not kissing L. She was kissing Beyond.

But she still wanted it, wanted _him_. She brought one hand up to run her fingers through his hair, her cool fingers lightly brushing the heat of his cheek.

Before she knew it, they were lying down, her limbs entangled with Beyond's. He pulled away from her lips, holding his head inches away from her face, so that all she could see was the glint in his dark eyes.

She was consumed by those eyes, his whole atmosphere was surrounding her, embracing her. Wordlessly, she brought one hand from his head and rested it on his chest before moving it lower and lower down his body.

Understanding what she meant, Beyond gave a dark smile and brought his lips crashing down on hers once more.

...

They had returned to their rooms long before the rest of Wammy's house would wake, yet neither of them slept after what had just happened.

In the morning when they met for breakfast, they gave each other a knowing smile before Rasa pulled his head towards her own for a long passionate kiss, causing some of the younger Wammy residents to make childish, disgusted noises. Beyond began to laugh which broke the kiss and just as Rasa was about to laugh herself, her face turned serious, eyes staring behind Beyond. He turned to face L, whose face was serious and dark, looking more alike to Beyond than he had ever been.

"We need to talk." He said in his monotone and before either of them could reply, L grabbed Rasa by the wrist and pulled her out of the dining hall into the quiet corridor.

Rasa stared at L with a fierceness she seemed to occupy so easily lately and L gave a sad frown.

"Why Rasa? Why?" He asked, black eyes pleading with her own blank blue ones.

"What do you mean?" She said a little too harshly.

"You know what I mean... You and Beyond." He said, furrowing his brow as he attempted to hide his distaste. Rasa crossed her arms across her chest defiantly.

"If you must know, then I stick with him because he makes me feel like someone." She said, cursing once more at the way her emotions were spinning from simply talking to L once more.

"Feel like someone?" He asked, confusion tainting his voice and reminding Rasa of a small child.

"Yes, I feel alive with him, important to someone in the world. You..." Rasa's arms dropped from her chest as she couldn't stop the sadness from breaking through, "You made me feel like nothing. I was no one to you." She said and silence fell between them. Rasa dared not look at L, she feared she may cry if she did.

Meanwhile, L was in a hurricane of different emotion. I love you Rasa, he thought, but he wouldn't allow his mouth to form the words. Instead, he settled for something which explained his feelings, explained the truth.

"You were everything to me. You still are." He said quietly and Rasa's head snapped up, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Then why didn't you show it?" She shouted, not caring who heard anymore, "It was always you and your stupid work! Your cases were always more important than I was... And I couldn't take it anymore. I can only give so much, and you never gave anything back." She was practically shaking with hurt and anger, the emotions she had repressed for so long with temporary feelings of being wanted by Beyond.

And now they were exploding within her, tearing her to pieces.

L didn't quite know what to do and so he did something that he had never done before, he threw all logic away and simply acted on instinct. He closed the gap between them and taking her face in his hands, he brought his lips upon hers quickly yet gently.

Rasa felt her body relax into his kiss, so soft and different to Beyond. Her tears fell as she closed her eyes, the droplets falling on his long fingers as he rested them by her face. As he pulled away, her lips tingling from his touch, Rasa felt the broken parts inside of her start to mend. How could she have doubted him for so long? _She loved him_. She loved the way his hair was extra messy on a morning, and the way his eyes became distant when deep in thought yet intense when talking to her. She loved the way his smile looked childish and the way he always knew the answer, no matter the question.

And now, as he stared at her to judge her reaction, she loved the way his face was so full of emotion, full of emotion about _her_. She smiled at him, light blue eyes no longer the icy pools that had stabbed at him. She pulled him into an embrace, resting her head against the soft white shirt and closing her eyes so as to fully enjoy the warmth and feel of his body.

L returned her hug, his insides churning with his love for her as well as his worry. He had promised himself he wouldn't grow so close to someone. But he had broken that promise. And now, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake the feeling that he would have to pay the price.

…

**Well, L and Rasa together at last. But how will Beyond take it? :P**

**Please review and I will give you virtual cookies. :D**

**Thank you to PandasWithDeathNotes and Wishing for Dreams for your reviews, Beyond sends you each a pot of virtual jam (with his DNA on it, so you guys go crazy with cloning him ;) haha)**


	7. Your time is up

After their kiss, they hadn't returned to the dining hall, but instead had taken a long walk around the orphanages abandoned corridors. L held Rasa's hand, a notion which in its simplicity meant so much to both of them. And occasionally they would catch each other's eye, sending shocks of electricity through their emotions until the connection was broken and calm was restored.

Rasa felt that it should have always been this way. Her and him. And the thought of Beyond gave her a terrible guilty feeling which settled in the pit of her stomach. She was guilty towards L for the things she did with Beyond, and now she was guilty towards Beyond for returning to L so easily. She voiced her feelings to L who frowned slightly.

"You need to talk with him. Beyond is… fragile." L said and Rasa nodded sadly.

"I'm not giving up on him L. He still means something to me." She said quietly, looking at the floor and feeling relief for finally admitting it out loud. Yes, she admitted that she had mainly used Beyond to try and get over her heartbreak for L, but amongst all that, a part of her did love Beyond Birthday. His passion, his dark eyes and twisted sense of humour. He made her feel _alive._

"I'll find him now. I need to let him know about us as soon as possible." Rasa said and L squeezed her hand in his.

"Want me to join you?" He asked, unable to keep the worry out of his normally calm voice.

"No, I need to see him alone. But thanks anyway." She said and then turned to L and smiled. She rested one soft kiss on his cheek before untangling his hand from her own and rushing off down the corridor, long snowy curls bouncing over her shoulders.

…

After checking the emptying dining hall, Rasa headed towards Beyond Birthdays bedroom and pushed open the door slowly. She glanced around the dark room, walls painted black and curtains pulled tightly across the windows. The room was empty though and Rasa frowned, turning to leave. Suddenly, something caught her eye peeking out from beneath his bed. She knelt down and pulled out the black scrapbook. On the front, the single letter, "L" was scrawled in white pen.

Rasa knew that L had many admirers, he was already becoming one of the world's greatest detectives and many of the children had been considered as successors for him if anything should ever happen to him. Rasa hadn't known that Beyond was one of them, although he _was_ highly intelligent. She gave a slight frown. Even so, to make a scrapbook seemed like obsessive admiration. And Beyond just wasn't that type of person.

She pulled the scrapbook open and her eyes grew wide as she took in the newspaper clippings and notes made beside them in Beyond's scrawly handwriting. She turned the pages and finally stopped when she reached several pages which were a mess of words. Words written in blood. 'Eliminate' and 'Kill' blared out from the pages among the bloodied words 'Unsolvable puzzle' and 'Murder'. The book slipped from her hands as she recoiled in horror.

Suddenly the door closed behind her and she jumped, swinging around to see the outline of Beyond in the darkness. She stumbled to her feet, unable to make out Beyond's expression now that the door had been closed.

"Beyond…" She whispered, unable to shake the horrified look that haunted her face.

"Rasa." He said sharply, stepping forward so that an escaping beam of light from the window fell on his face. He was staring at her with cruel eyes, his mouth pulled into a serious frown. "It's rude to go through other people's stuff without asking." He said, his voice dripping with venom.

"I'm sorry, but Beyond- Beyond this…" Rasa grasped for the scrapbook and held its open pages up towards him although his eyes never strayed from her face. "This is wrong. You need help Beyond. Please." Rasa thrust the book at him with shaking hands but he remained still. Her brow furrowed over scared eyes and Beyond raised his gaze to that spot above her head.

"So this is how it ends." He mumbled half to himself and then a sick smile spread on his lips. "You know what Rasa? I knew you were using me all along. I knew I was all part of your little plan to get back at L…" He raised his eyebrows as he gave a slight snigger.

"Please Beyond, no, it wasn't like that. I like you…" Rasa stumbled over her own words, taking a step closer to Beyond yet stopping when she noticed the fierceness in his dark eyes.

"Guess what Rasa? You weren't the only one who hated L. My best friend died from the pressure placed on him by that pathetic _detective. _But L won't break me in the same way. I am going to break him… Starting with you." Beyond laughed in a way which chilled Rasa to the bone. She had never seen him so dark before and it genuinely scared her.

"There is something wrong Beyond, something wrong with you. Please let me help you…" She pleaded with him yet made no further attempt to step closer. His eyes glared at her and she started to wish L had come along with her after all.

"Oh, you are going to help me, Rasa. Because you weren't the only one with a plan to get back at L. Although, my plan is a little more… gory." He gave a chuckle and suddenly Rasa was terrified. She glanced towards the closed door desperately but Beyond was in the way. He flashed her a wide smile before moving to the side, heading for a set of drawers by his bed.

Rasa wasted no time and darted for his door but as soon as her hands fell on the door handle, she grabbed around the waist and yanked back into the room by Beyond. She gave out a cry as he flung her against the far wall, leaning against her so that his face was close to her own.

"Your time is up Molly Fairview." Beyond hissed and Rasa gasped at the sound of her real name, almost forgotten after so many years. But before she could even wonder how he knew, a sharp pain shocked her into crying out in agony. She looked down at the shining metal blade of a kitchen knife plunged into her chest as her mind tried to understand what was happening. The boy who had made her feel so alive, was taking back what he was owed.

Suddenly, the door burst open as L ran into the room.

"I heard you cry out. Is everyth-" L stopped instantly as he took in the sight of Rasa, backed against the wall whilst Beyond held a knife in her chest. He caught Beyond's eye as it gave a glint of amusement before Beyond pulled out the knife and ran from the room.

L was shocked into action as Rasa crumpled to the floor, her white dress slowly turning dark red from the blood. He ran towards her and caught her in his arms, holding her to his chest in complete despair. He carried her from the room, crying and shouting for people to help, for people to save her.

"Rasa, no, no, no, please, Rasa, please don't give up on me." L babbled at her as a crowd of shocked and scared children gathered around the two of them. Someone ran to call for an ambulance and L fell to his knees in the corridor, hunched over Rasa as she gasped for air and clutched at his blood soaked shirt.

"L…" She whispered, scared blue eyes shining up at his. She raised a hand to his face and gently stroked it, " I love you, L. And I'm so sorry." She gasped and L was aware of more people urgently arriving at the scene although his eyes never left her face.

"Don't you dare say that. Don't you give up on me Rasa." He said fiercely, his face wild with determination. But Rasa knew she was going to die ever since Beyond had told her, her time was up. And so she gave L a small smile before closing her eyes and letting herself drift away.

L held her body tightly in his arms, tears rolling down the cheek she had just touched moments before. His heart was tearing at the seams, he was falling apart and Rasa wasn't there to help mend the broken pieces anymore. He gave out a cry of grief and rocked her body backwards and forwards until a firm hand was placed on his shoulder and her body was taken from his arms.

She looked so weak and pale, and ghostly white apart from the dark red stain which continued to grow on her dress and skin. L realised that he had never told her that he loved her. His head fell to his chest and he closed his wide stricken eyes. He had paid his price.

…

**Sorry for all those out there rooting for B, but you can't forget he is a crazed murderer so his behaviour in this situation is kinda predictable.**

**One more chapter left as I would hate to leave the story on such a god damn depressing note as this.**

**Please Review!**

**Thanks to PandasWithDeathNotes, Wishing for Dreams and Ajk Insanity for your reviews. And I agree Ajk Insanity, when I read some fics on here and it goes into great detail about that kinda stuff it only makes me feel uncomfortable so decided to spare you all the awkwardness and just leave it where it was :P**


	8. Tabula Rasa

**4 years later, aged 20**

L was back at the orphanage he had spent so long trying to forget. Although the place held good memories for him, they always seemed to be tainted by the bad so that they seemed twisted in his mind. He entered the orphanage and went directly to wait in the office that had formerly belonged to Watari until he and L had left many years ago.

As he crouched in the chair, he couldn't help but feel a bit nervous about the meeting which was about to take place. Watari had been the one that had suggested he meet his successors, and he had agreed reluctantly. Two boys had been selected to meet him. Two boys who were at the top of their classes, and who would become the next L, the next him, if the situation should arise.

He bit down on his thumb in an agitated way and then froze at the sound of the door opening behind him. There was movement, a closing of the door again and finally Watari's voice sounded out.

"L, these are your two successors. This is Mello and Near."

L jumped up from his seat and turned slowly to bring his judgemental gaze upon the two young boys before him. All of a sudden, he froze, wide eyes staring at one of the boys in particular. He stood in plain white pyjamas which matched the curling white hair set over large grey eyes.

"Tabula Rasa." L muttered under his breath, unable to contain the memories of her as they came spilling out into his mind. The white curls, the pale blue, almost grey eyes. He felt his heart expand and turned away from the young boy stood before him, scared that his face would betray him and expose his emotions.

"L, is everything alright?" Watari's concerned voice came from behind him and L forced himself to regain his composure. He gave a brief nod and then turned once more to his successors. He looked over the second boy, a skinny little thing with straight blonde hair falling around a serious face. His eyes were alight with emotion in a way that made L think that if they were combined with the appearance of the first boy, together they would make a copy of Rasa.

He quickly shook away the thought and the memory of her smiling face. He turned the chair around to face the quiet boys and crouched upon it.

"It is nice to finally meet you Near and Mello. I expect great things from the both of you." He said and stared at them each in turn. They were symbols of a new beginning. Together, they were his blank slate.

…

**It's done everyone! Thanks to everyone who has read or reviewed this story, it means a lot to me :')**

**Please review this chapter and I will love you forever. Might start a new story soon :D**

**Lots of love,**

**Hush.**


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